Look for Meaning in Everything You Do
“Ultimately, man should not ask what the meaning of his life is, but rather he must recognize that it is he who is asked.” – Viktor E. Frankl
Viktor Frankl got it right when it came to inspiring us to commit to living life with dignity and purpose – no matter what our circumstances may bring. My take on his core teaching is to look inside ourselves for our “why.” He used the pain associated with loss and his experiences in the camps of WWII to share what he learned rather than retreat into bitterness and regret. Frankl had not only lost his basic freedoms, but his family and life’s work were also destroyed completely in the Holocaust.
Look inside right now, and consider the freedom of choice we enjoy and sometimes take for granted. Typically our day-to-day activities are part of a resolution to take action or refrain, make a decision or pass on an opportunity, prioritize or reorder events. For me…if I have to do something I find unpleasant or not to my liking, I will dig in my heels to avoid or delay getting it done…that is unless…I look for and find the bigger meaning of what is at stake. I also think about my role in the “herd” and whether I should be leading or following in order to make the right choice. It is not always easy to make those decisions. I know I can always rationalize my choice after I have made it, but I will be nagged by that little voice in my head if the decision conflicts with my values.
I don’t know how many choices you or I make in the course of a day, but I wouldn’t be surprised if we break 100 more often than not. Many choices are very small. Some are very big and they usually linger for many days. Sometimes it is good to sleep on our options, and other times, a lingering decision prevents a good night’s sleep. It is easier to make a decision if we have clarity, and it is a lot harder if the reasons and the results are opaque. Let’s look at those things that can provide clarity.
What are your Values?
“Only when the emotions work in terms of values can the individual feel pure joy.” – Victor E. Frankl
Our values can be a good indicator of our “why” in making a particular choice. For example, if you regard yourself as being responsible, what would a responsible person do when confronted with your situation? If you value honesty or integrity, what would be a win for you when you make a decision? Our values ring true and they are our best guide to meaning and certainty when working our way through a problem.
One interesting question, somewhat like “What comes first? The chicken or the egg?” is whether your values are already embedded from birth or whether your values are shaped or determined by your experience. Given my recent propensity to “both/and” I would answer that question with a resounding yes; namely our values affect our experience and our experience affects our values. For some, values are inherently ingrained from birth and for others values are formed primarily by experience. For most of us, our value system is derived from a combination of childhood influences and our encounters in life.
We weigh a lot of things in deciding how and what we will do, and our values should be at the top of the list of determining factors. If you don’t have a value that fits the situation – find one. Consider a value or values that resonate with you. This exercise can start you on a path to creating a life that is value-driven rather than situation-driven. In turn, knowing your values helps you identify what provides you meaning.
Details Matter
“Human freedom is not a freedom from but freedom to.” – Victor E. Frankl
You have probably heard the expression, “The devil is in the details.” Generally speaking most people say the details are the “what” we are doing. Whatever you do is only one part of the details. Your internal emotional state and how your emotions are manifested are also part of the “facts” of your work. Often the particulars of “the what” are long forgotten before the memories of our emotional state disappear. Those with whom we have worked will remember the emotional state we manifested.
If we have resentment or resistance when doing the work, it is like trying to throw a baseball, or a punch, with all of the muscles in your arm tensed up. The physical dynamics of movement suggest most motion is a series of relax and tighten – never fully relaxed and tightening when appropriate. Resentment or resistance that arises when performing a task definitely takes away the pleasure of working. While it’s hard to think there is much pleasure in shoveling snow, the fact of the matter is that it goes a lot faster if you dig into it rather than resist it. The same is true when you embrace fully the task before you, identify the best ways to approach it and find a sense of accomplishment in successful completion. Those circumstances create a win. Fighting an obligation that you take on will only create more resentment later. It keeps you in a state of upset. That upset poses the danger of keeping you in a state of victimhood.
Envisioning a successful outcome before starting a task, on the other hand, can enable you to come up with a list of results. Some will consist of the details of a completed project. Others will consist of a set of positive feelings on your part after you have a successful completion. The task outcomes you anticipate before you start the work can give meaning to what you are doing. Similarly, the anticipated feelings can provide the emotional push for diving in and driving yourself to meaning. Another way of saying all of this is that you will be most successful and most satisfied with a project when it is done right, with the right (positive) attitude.
Meaning is an Everyday Thing
When we don’t know something or when we don’t know where to find it, we can ask for help. There is a certain element of vulnerability in admitting we don’t know something but it is more productive – infinitely so – to admit it than to operate under a facade of omniscience. I still believe that honesty always carries the day if for no other reason than truth is level setting – it creates a base for reality. Pretense is distorted reality – one that causes us to act or speak from an ungrounded or false position.
Movement
“How can we learn to know ourselves—Never by reflection but by action. Try to do your duty and you will soon find out what you are. But what is your duty—The demands of each day.” – Victor E. Frankl
It is easy to forget about the day-to-day when we are thinking about meaning. If you manage a family or run a business, meaningfulness is key—that is if you are actively engaged. If you have a job or significant outside activity, the idea of looking for and/or creating meaning is not always at the top of your mind. In these situations, you jump in and do what is required with your level of engagement and this likely creates a great deal of meaning. Where meaning is absent in your day-to-day activity, you have an opportunity to create it with a shift of consciousness.
Viewing your job as a career or as a learning opportunity creates more meaning in your work. Coming to work and trying to be more efficient and effective in discharging your responsibilities can also make your obligations more important and significant—maybe even more fun if you treat it as a game. On the other hand, looking at your occupation as merely putting in time and collecting a paycheck is not very uplifting and detracts from the meaning of your life. In that situation you should probably ask yourself if you need a change in attitude, a change in venue, or both.
Keep in mind, running away from a situation that you could have improved with an attitude shift merely delays your ability to have meaning in the here and now. We must stay alert to magical (hopeful) thinking that the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. Life may be better in another venue, but ultimately, if you have unfinished business when it comes to how you view work and if you are not engaged with your assignments, you may be fooling yourself. Moving on for the wrong reasons can cause you to leave a situation you view as bad, for another you discover is worse. Most of the time it is better to take advantage of your existing situation by learning all you can and being all that you can be rather than avoiding it and moving on.
“Before Enlightenment chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment chop wood, carry water.” – Zen Proverb
The bottom line? Find the meaning in everything you do.
And, there is more, there always is.
Be genuine.
Copyright 2014 © John J. Trakselis, Chicago CEO Coaching
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