Responsibility: A Better Way to Serve Ourselves, Others

by John J. Trakselis Coaching Essay
“Freedom is in danger of degenerating into mere arbitrariness unless it is lived in terms of responsibleness. That is why I recommend that the Statue of Liberty on the East Coast be supplemented by a Statue of Responsibility on the West Coast. ” -- Victor Frankl

As we near the Thanksgiving holiday, gratefulness is top of mind. One of the ways we can view gratitude is through a lens of responsibility.

What’s the correlation? At its core, responsibility is about service to self and others. Service is fueled by our gifts. Each of us possesses many gifts (talents, abilities, smarts and access to resources, as well as experience, skills and more) for which we must be grateful. Our gifts can function to help or hinder us and others. So we have a responsibility to recognize and use them wisely – in our business and personal lives.

As we go about addressing our challenges and our opportunities, we tend to overlook the starring role our gifts and blessings can play in helping us meet our responsibilities. Instead, we tend to focus solely on the nature of our burdens. The point to remember in the face of any difficulty is that each one always comes with an upside potential. So problems are a both/and scenario, not an either/or proposition. We can use our gifts to transform our troubles into occasions to grow and succeed in new ways.

But first, just what is responsibility? Most of us would say we are responsible individuals – it’s our personal and professional byword. When we say we’re not responsible for this or that, what we’re really saying is we’re not a part of “it” – in this case, responsibility is a decision. There are many other ways to describe it. Responsibility can be a:

  1. Value – something that you hold, a way of living, that defines who you are;
  2. Guiding Principle – something that determines the commitments of an individual or group;
  3. Competitive Advantage – how you function in your job or in serving customers;
  4. Choice – to do the right thing;
  5. A goal or even an aspiration.

When we are responsible we show respect, are diligent and persistent, have focus and serve ourselves and others. We deal with the facts and circumstances in front of us. In some cases we make lemonade out of lemons.

For example, when something bothers you, you have a simple choice – act or don’t act. Do you tolerate it, resent it or do something about it? Most of us want to avoid conflict (sometimes expressed as, “I don’t want to fight that battle now.”) for a variety of reasons. One of the biggest reasons is the discomfort of initiating action, especially when we are afraid we can’t control the outcome. Let’s face it, putting yourself out there may make you feel vulnerable and that can be uncomfortable. So we often suck it up, bear the situation and then resent the fact that we have a dilemma we can’t solve.

While discretion is usually the better part of valor, we run a risk when we suck up a problem that’s causing us turmoil – within or outside ourselves. We can become a victim. And victimhood is frustrating, a non-active helpless/hopeless space. Paralysis sets in and our gifts are left untapped on the sidelines.

If we view responsibility as the better, proactive way to serve ourselves and others by words and deeds, we can raise our awareness and the awareness of everyone we encounter, and optimize outcomes. We also show ourselves and others we care.

Some examples:

  • Sit down with that underperforming employee, engage in a productive conversation with him or her and discuss how they can use their gifts to serve themselves, others and the company in more productive ways;
  • Tackle confusing business problems and situations by setting time for open discussion with the necessary players in order to provide clarity and foster productive actions that reflect the thinking and ideas of the team or group;
  • Take care of yourself physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually so that you can cultivate the fullness of your gifts and share them with the world;
  • Give love where there is hatred and distrust in order to make things and people better – individually and collectively;
  • Commit to addressing and solving problems – one at a time – instead of creating new ones or fanning the flames of dysfunction by piling on;
  • Honor your commitments and create new ones that allow you to contribute your time, money or talent.
  • Own all the aspects of yourself including the good, the bad and the ugly. Realize that as Maya Angelou is famous for saying, “When you know better you do better.” Allow yourself the opportunity for life experiences that expand your horizons.

If you desire to be more responsible, here are some traits to consider exhibiting in your day-to-day actions:

  • Reliability
  • Dependability
  • Integrity – honesty and truthfulness
  • Caring
  • Authenticity – owning and expressing your feelings
  • Going the extra mile
  • Seeing something and doing something about it
  • Preparing to serve and taking action.

We all have various roles that carry inherent responsibilities and contribute to defining us. Some examples:

  • Owner or company president – If you are an owner, you lead customers, employees, vendors, other shareholders or banks. You are accountable for profits;
  • Employee – If you are an employee, you have to show up, work hard and smart, be prepared for the task at hand or learn quickly and service your customers – both external and internal;
  • Vendor – You deliver value through your product or service;
  • Parent – You shape young lives – there are few things greater;
  • Spouse or significant other – You contribute in ways that 1 plus 1 equals 3 or 4, or even more;
  • Citizen – You demonstrate your citizenship by being active in your community in some way and by taking an interest in issues of importance to the country.

Things generally break down for us when we are not responsible, but some words of advice here:

  • Establish boundaries. Take control or help manage situations created by others but keep the lines or responsibility in focus;
  • Employ a problem-solving strategy that keeps you active, not paralyzed;
  • If you feel you are a victim in a situation, let the pain of victimhood propel you to active problem solving;
  • Realize in every situation, you have choices – do nothing or do something;
  • When circumstances are beyond your knowledge or experience base, seek expert assistance.

Recently, I read a piece written by Jim Rohm. He said that to solve any problem, ask yourself 3 questions:

  • First, what could I do?
  • Second, what could I read?
  • Third, whom could I ask?

By the way, the word responsible can be thought of as two ideas: Response and able. What is your response in every situation? And what is your ability to address it?

No one is perfect on the responsibility track. If you fall off your horse, get back on so you can ride again, but always aspire to be responsible. Think about responsibility as a genuine gift this Thanksgiving holiday and be grateful for what it offers you.

And, there is more, there always is.

Be Genuine.

Join the Discussion

What’s on your mind? What’s keeping you up at night? What are the thoughts from your desktop? If you have topics you’d like John to cover in this blog, please email john.trakselis@vistage.com or call (708)443-5518.