The Power of Words

“Whatever words we utter should be chosen with care, for people will hear them and be influenced by them for good or ill." – Buddha

Words are extremely important. When spoken carelessly and unconsciously they can do much harm. When spoken carefully, with a positive intent, they can move the speaker and the listener to new heights. Which alternative appeals to you?

I prefer to look at words as having the ability to move myself and others for good, with power and direction. I see the possibility of using a word as a guiding star or a foundation. A star assists in direction and navigation. A foundation is a base upon which to build and grow.

"False words are not only evil in themselves, but they infect the soul with evil.” – Socrates

I think the least useful word is a label. Labels fall short in communicating a full description of a person or thing, and they foster negative judgments and stereotyping. Examples: He or she is a liberal, a right winger or a Bible thumper.

I am gratified to see there is a No Label movement in Washington, D.C. The hope is that people will get beyond calling each other names, and engage in constructive dialogue (http://www.nolabels.org/). I see No Labels as a way to enable people to work together instead of in opposition, and to unite through communication rather than divide through misunderstanding. The bottom line for me is that the unconscious use of labels is arrogant, ignorant and immature, plus it encourages people to be lazy in their thinking and acting.

Find Your Word

Here is a list of words (in alphabetical order) that I believe are the stars that can guide us in positive ways as we engage in our diverse communities:

Accountability Forgiveness Integrity Love
Care Generosity Intelligence Principle
Challenge Grow Intention Responsibility
Commitment Growth Justice Service
Direction Honesty Knowledge Teacher
Enthusiasm Innovation Leader Trust
Fairness Inspiration Learn Value

These “power words” contain a sense of inherent value that describes and contributes to character building. I encourage you to identify the word that resonates with you the most and do 3 things:

  1. Look up the definition of the word (I recommend an unabridged dictionary to get the full depth and breadth of the definition).
  2. Discuss the word with someone who is important to you.
  3. Encourage that individual to pick a word from the list and repeat these 3 steps.

The conscious use of a “power word” creates intention, and encourages more mindful behavior and responsibility. The use of labels, on the other hand, fosters more uninformed behavior and irresponsibility.

“We are masters of the unsaid words, but slaves of those we let slip out.” – Winston Churchill
Declare Your Word

Think about opening your next meeting or oral report by declaring your word. By this I mean let everyone know you will be choosing a word as a theme (or to describe your current state – emotionally, physically, spiritually or mentally). Put yourself and your word to the test by relating a story to the word and then ask for feedback at the end. Was it the appropriate word? Was it significant? Is there a better word that you could have used?

The purpose of this exercise is to have a more mindful presentation by choosing a word, and using it to provide a context or create a certain vibration. If you feel too vulnerable or exposed in some way to declare your word aloud, then I suggest you keep it top of mind within your heart and mind. You can perform your own evaluation of the word after the meeting. I would bet the more confident you are in your word choice, the more meaning it will hold for you and the more likely you will be to declare it aloud it at some point in leading a meeting.

Choose Your Mindfulness Word

Another suggestion I have is to pick another word and be aware of it throughout the day. It is best to choose your word the night before by writing it on a sheet of paper and looking at it first thing in the morning when you are awake and alert. I would also put it on a 3 by 5 note card and carry it around all day, pulling it out periodically to do a self-check on how the word is working for you. I do hope that you repeat this exercise for several days and note how your time and interactions change as a result of the use of your mindfulness word.

Your Word as a Value

The net result of these exercises is that your word could very well become a personal value. This is especially true if the word keeps rising to top of mind, empowering or enabling you to live a more conscious and directed life. Is that something that is attractive to you? If so, play with it and see where it leads you. I would love to hear your story.

Words & Storytelling

Most of us tell stories during the course of the day. Be mindful of the words you use in your narratives, and be especially aware of how you express the lessons you’ve learned. (Notice that I am reintroducing the word “learn” here. Continuous learning is a theme that runs through this blog series; it is a business, leadership and life imperative.) Words offer a pathway to authenticity and truth. Actions that support your messages build trust. Words and deeds, when in sync, open more doors for you and others to learn and grow.

In telling a story, you can confirm what you have learned or haven’t learned from the experience you are sharing. Your words provide evidence of a story’s meanings for you, and these meanings represent your learning. Are you telling stories that recall dramas of being victimized? Or do your stories convey lessons that demonstrate how you are empowering yourself to live a more focused life? I realize these are two extremes and I don’t want to encourage “either-or” thinking, but it is useful to look at both poles and choose a direction for your words that helps you tell a more inspiring story.

“In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.
Words to Live By

Words express appreciation. Words convey the truth. Words inspire others. Words communicate empathy and compassion. Their intent can only be transmitted when they are articulated. Sometimes we are at a loss for words, but even that fact can be communicated by simply saying: “I can’t find the words to ________ my ________ for you (and/or your situation), but I want you to know ___________________.” Even if these are not the most appropriate words, your intent will be clear. Such introductory words may open you up to more specific communication in the current situation and in the future. Trying enables doing in this case.

“As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.” – John F. Kennedy

Those words uttered by John Kennedy reflect the notion of integrity – do what you say you are going to do. This is not the only aspect of integrity worth living but it is certainly a starting point. In spite of all I have said about words in this essay, actions always speak louder. I would add to that, however, that it is best to synchronize both. Incorporate and use my directive to keep on talking more consciously and then make sure your actions are consistent with your words. The outcome? Words offer a pathway to authenticity and truth. Actions build trust. Both avenues open doors for yourself and others.

And, there is more, there always is.

Be genuine.

Copyright 2014 © John J. Trakselis, Chicago CEO Coaching

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What’s on your mind? What’s keeping you up at night? What are the thoughts from your desktop? If you have topics you’d like John to cover in this blog, please email john.trakselis@vistage.com or call (708)443-5518.